Good morning to you where ever in the world you are on this Sunday morning. May 17, 2020. I have always wanted to say that, kind of like Charles Kuralt did when he opened his CBS weekly show Sunday Morning during his run in the 80’s. I used to watch it with my parents while we ate breakfast. He was a staple just like Erma Bombeck. Lately on Sunday morning’s I am up editing or working on stuff. It’s been a rough last few days so I have been all over and kind of scattered. My pain levels have been beyond the scales but that just means that I refocused it in other places. I spent lots of time outside playing in the sun taking photographs of water and then doing other things that does not involve irritating my swollen spinal nerves. Laying on the hot cement actually feels good and is a great way to get a healthy dose of Vitamin D which is good for the nervous system.
Here is a little Norah Jones as I surely needed this. Theme music perhaps…Press Play..
Anyhow, it seems just as I start getting ready to do something, like reformat my website and re-edit old shoots, my spine has other plans. This has been my life for the last decade. No wonder I have been so scattered and have never finished anything. Honestly, it was hard to come back here and write as this feels forced but I knew that I needed to like it’s a pseudo therapy session.
Yesterday, I got to meet another neighbor. Jenny, my pug busted through our screen door. Well, busted is a lie, the latch is broken on the screen door and she got excited and ran out after two dogs that were at the window. I knew what dogs she was barking at by the high octaves she was hitting in her barking. When she is fearful her bark is high pitched and fast. There are a few dogs and people in our complex that make her sing in that range. We have a few neighbors that walk their dogs right next to our windows. I get it, we live in a gated community and technically our front yard is community front yard. However, when I walk our dog, I make it a point to not walk her right next to any of our neighbors windows. Since the surgery to remove L-4 and L-5 from my spine, I have had issues walking. Often when I sit too much I get swelling in the spinal nerves and this causes heaviness in my legs and severe pain when walking, sitting,breathing and thinking. Even with all this going on in my body, I still get on with it, as best as possible, with my every day stuff. Our dog gets very excited when she sees other dogs, because of this, I try and keep her away from other dogs as she could easily pull me to the ground as I am unsteady on my feet. I go out of my way to walk away from other people and will turn around and walk away if see some one with a dog walking our way if Jenny does not know them. Really, I don’t like confrontation anymore. I grew up where confrontation was a way of life and if you were here now, my eyes actually have tears in them thinking about being bullied in my life. Believe it or not, women, yes women have bullied me the most in my life! (that is a whole other story I will have to write about). Anyhow, Jenny ran out and got tangled up with her two dogs. She started yelling about my dog attacking her. I went into “fight or flight” and saw that Jenny’s paw’s were tangled up in her leashes. By the way, I chose flight.
I did say sorry or something like that and grabbed my dog and retreated back in the house as she causing quite a scene. She was speaking loudly, waving her hand and such. I just wanted to get out of there. We both didn’t have on masks and I had not been feeling well. Hubby was in the back and had no idea what was going on. I know that I probably should have said more and asked her if she was okay but honestly, she was already looking for a fight. Why else would she continually walk her dog next to our window to make Jenny our pug, bark every day and then get upset when my dog ran out the door the first chance she got? I hope her dogs are okay as I would never want anything bad to ever happen to an animal. A few hours later, I went to get the mail, I never go to get the mail, ever. I had made it a few feet from our front door when that lady drove up in her gold car and said “I was coming to see you…blah..blah…blah” then she told me she didn’t like the way I handled it, that I should fix my door, that I should do this, that I should care, that I was rude, that I shouldn’t say fuck. Oh yeah, I said fuck because I let that entitled girl speak like a polite person would. She rudely spoke to me in my front yard that she came at me with out a face mask. I let her speak, uninterrupted. Then I asked her for one minute to speak, without interruption, because she wouldn’t shut up. She just kept interrupting. Then I just said, “I have had enough, you won’t let me speak.” and walked away. Again, not my proudest moment. I had a chance to make a friend, possibly, but I just didn’t feel that coming from her. What I felt was that kid in school that got teased for being fat, or too tall, or too ugly. You see, I have seen this girl when I have walked around in the complex before and I have smiled and waved hello to her before or for her to look the other way like she didn’t see me. By the way, we have other neighbors who have dogs that Jenny happily barks at. They come up to the window and the pitch in her bark is friendly. Jenny’s pitch is not like that with her, so, I have to side with my dog. I will be sure to stay away from her and others. Really, that was so unnecessary. Again, I am not saying that I was right, but I will be more kind and practice more of what I preach as hard as it is.
Yesterday, I did get a surprise in the mail. I ordered a Polaroid Pop 2.0. I wanted to be able to print photos instantly, even if they aren’t perfect. The colors could be brighter and I am sure there are tricks to get it to work better. I am looking forward to creating some fun little memories with it.
So, I feel a little lighter, but not much. I hate that I had that run in with my neighbor yesterday and really, it is weighing heavy on me. I will try to smile more or as Tyra Banks would say, I will “Smize” since we have to wear masks. I do have expressive eyes as I have been told a time or two in my life. Time for me to breath deeply and think before acting out. Time for me to put myself in someone else shoes. She might have been having a bad day. Maybe she has no friends and is lonely too. Everyone has a story that they hide by wearing a mask, even if the mask is loud talking and rudeness. Anyhow, this is just hurt me speaking right now. I will be fine in the next five minutes, nothing really lasts that long with me ever.
Thank you reader, for stopping by for a visit. May you have a peaceful day and smile at your neighbor! Hugs to you cause I know I could really use one!