Throwing Shapes

Good morning out there world! How are you? Today is May 5, 2021 or Cinco de Mayo as most of the country refers to this day. How will you be celebrating? I know many will be throwing down tacos and chips and salsa and drinking margarita’s or micheladas. The word MICHELADA makes me laugh as that was one of the many nicknames I have been called during the last 51 years. What is a michelada? It is a drink, similar to the Bloody Mary but beer is used in place of the tequila. Mexican beer is what is needed as the drink needs that bitter bite that Tecate or Pacifico or Bohemia have. Those are the Mexican beers that I fancy, but any beer can be used but the tastes will vary. Since I do not have beer or tomato juice or Clamato for that matter . I will not be posting any photos, dang maybe next year. Yeah…Today I plan on making homemade flour tortillas and black beans and grilling chicken. Not exciting, but something I know that will not make my gallbladder seek attention. Yes, that little organ in our upper right quadrant is starting to get noisy and bothersome. Only a few more weeks till I meet with the surgeon to discuss the game plan and I can’t wait. Yes, me who hates having any medical procedures done is looking forward to having it removed. I can do this, I can get through it. How do I know this? ‘Cause I just do. Lately, I have been lost in stuff like art and learning music. This does not mean that I am “ISOLATING”. I guess I am a little irritated that word was used in a conversation and that I “shouldn’t isolate myself.” Hey, I guess keeping my mind at peace and not having to deal with bullshit that would make me speak my mind is ISOLATING then I am a pro and I will take that description.

A few months ago, Hubby and I changed our guest room into our “studio”. He has his musical equipment in there and I have my desk with all my painting supplies. I love that is gives me a space that is away from our “living area”. You know, the places that people hang out the most in their homes, like the living room, kitchen or bedroom. I dreamed of having space like this when I was raising my kids. We barely had enough money to keep a roof over our heads at times and I was not one to borrow or beg for money. Heck, we, the kids, their dad and me, all did live in a two bedroom house for a bit…Most of our time was spent in the front room. Often, I had dreamed about painting or taking photos but knew that there were more important things like rent and food and such. My Dad raised us to not ask for handouts or money. I was always embarrassed when my sisters would gift me groceries or an occasional 20 bucks or so here and there. I needed it though and would swallow my pride and any of the ill comments they may have made as I was grateful for any help that was given during those years. Now, I see people start Go Fund Me’s like it is their career. I just saw a GFM for a girl requesting money to purchase items for her business she was dreaming about building. I know that it is probably a joke or meme but you know what I mean… Sorry about that…Got a little side tracked as I have lots on my mind.

I need a little music in my life this morning and Ani Di Franco came to mind, I love this song and yes, .I am 32 Flavors and then some…please press play. Fair warning, i am about to unload a bit so maybe if family drama is not your thing, please press exit now….

Beautiful song by a gorgeous human…

I just read the lyrics and, wow, I had to re-read it a few times. I felt all of it…

And I’ve never tried to give my life meaning
By demeaning you
And I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I’m not saying that I’m a saint
I just don’t wanna live that way
No, I will never be a saint
But I will always say
– From the song 32 Flavors written and performed by Ani Di Franco.

I just erased a full paragraph, written from an angry and pained heart. I erased it to keep peace but know that the truth in my heart will bubble up to the surface and I hope that not too much damage is done. Maybe it was because I just listened to this song 10 times on repeat. All I can think about is being told to be kind to a man that once told a 17 year old single mother that was holding her child, “I know you like it.” and then pointed at my daughter. So, please, don’t teach me about being kind as I had to sit across from him for a few years just so I could spend one night a week hanging out with our sister and act like he was “family”. Not sorry that I released a little pressure…

So, this is where I have been lately. Getting lost in other things. Most mornings I start off with an exercise video on youtube and then I work on either the guitar or bass. It is getting easier to make the right sounds and find the right finger placement without looking. The more I hold the guitar, the more I can visualize with my mind and feel with my fingers and know what part of the fret board I am on. I am not yet ready to record myself but will soon.

My daughter will be here next week and I am so excited. I bought chalkboard contact paper to cover the area under our bar so that kids can draw on it. I did not order enough to fill the whole space.

So, I left that one spot open under the bar and thought I could cover it with something like one of my paintings and the boys did gift me 11 x 14 canvasses would work.

Underworld Bubbling

The photo above is an example of what I am trying to do. Hopefully, I get it worked out before they get here. I had always wanted to try abstract art but really, it is not easy for me. I guess I need context clues to get a painting finished.

Time to get back to painting and stuff like that. Maybe a swim is needed this morning. Oh yeah, I do not endorse many things but I gotta say, I love, love LOVE my new swim bottoms from Nike. I have issues with my balance and taking off swimwear when wet can be dangerous. I have fallen a few times when there was no bench to sit on or lean on for balance. Anyhow, they hold in the trouble areas and there is even a zippered pouch for keys built in! A win-win!

The pouch is in the rear.

I am far from the ideal weight and would have never, ever, considered a two piece suit. Now, I will think twice about buying a one piece as these two pieces offer great coverage and fits well. To any of my CES ladies, I highly recommend these as it make using the facilities that much easier.

One more song. We watched a Thin Lizzy documentary last night and they mentioned “Throwing shapes.” I laughed, Hubby laughed and if you ever have photographed musicians while they playing then you will know exactly what throwing shapes is. Anyhow, here is Thin Lizzy singing one of my favorites of theirs, Dancing in the Moonlight.

Phil Lynott – singing bass player – Did you see the shapes?

Thank you, dear reader for stopping by as I guess I needed to unload a little. Where ever you are and what ever challenge you are going through, I hope you get there. I really do want the best for everyone. Hugs to yo and even YOU!

13 Comments Add yours

  1. terrie gura says:

    You know what? It’s your damn life and you are entitled to “isolate” anytime you want to! 👍🏻 That’s just somebody projecting their stuff into you. Gotta preserve our own sanity and mental health. I love that you have carved out a special creative zone in your home to satisfy your self-expression.

    I’m sorry for the inappropriate comments you had to endure when you were younger, and especially the notion that it was your responsibility to be polite with that kind of B.S. People suck sometimes!

    On a brighter note, I’m so impressed that you make your own flour tortillas! I’m still working on that one. I make the corn tortillas and will make them tonight for fish tacos at our house. Yum!

    I have heard of Micheladas! My aunt makes one for happy hour just about every afternoon. I’ll have her text me a picture if you’d like to enjoy it vicariously! 😂🍺 Keep on, Michelle! 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I just saw this, it was in the spam folder. Weird? I agree about the isolating yourself. It is not like I sit in the dark and read into conspiracy theories or worse – feel sorry for myself. My own kids have said this to me when they were too little to understand the word and then to hear it from my sister was like hearing nails scratching against a chalkboard.

      As an adult and looking back, all of our lives were filled with very inappropriate things, my sisters and I that is. What we needed was a mother that believed us instead of hiding everything. Sorry. I think you may need to bill me for therapy…

      Yes, please send a photo of your Aunt. She is truly living 🙂

      Like

  2. terrie gura says:

    Dang. WordPress is acting up because I wrote out a whole comment and it went “poof” when I logged into my account to post it here. Crazy!

    Anyway, I’m in your corner on all of this, Michelle. It sounds like you encountered someone who doesn’t know where they end and you begin, but you are strong to handle that crap. I hate that you were expected to endure such inappropriate comments when you were younger too.

    Thank goodness for your art and creative space! I’ll share more later and would LOVE to get your recipe for handmade flour tortillas. Mine never turn out like I want but I’ll make some corn tortillas tonight.

    Keep taking care of YOU!!! 👍🏻😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know right? I have had issues with that before. WP sure has lots of little hiccups.

      Thank you Terrie, this memorial for my sister has been a strain. It just brought up too many past hurts. What also sucks is that they still see me as a teenager and not an adult. Geeze, maybe next year when I am 52 I will be able to sit at the adult table. Sorry 😦

      I will send you the tortilla recipe, it is super simple. I have made bacon flavored tortillas, butter flavor Crisco one too using it. A little hungry right now 🙂

      Thank you again for being a friend. i really appreciate it. have a great rest of the day.

      Like

  3. Sarah Davis says:

    Love Micheladas! I will not be having one either.

    Loving your art. It must be freeing to have your own space to create.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love a good spicy Michelada too but yes, no drinking for me.

      I love having the space, it is kind of like an escape. Perfect place to meditate when the house is quiet in the morning.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. As I’ve noted before, you’re a courageous and kind soul, Michelle, and I enjoy reading your posts. They’re like a conversation with a friend, and your honesty and candor are so refreshing. I love your paintings too! Enjoy your Cinco de Mayo dinner. We’re having cheese enchiladas and Mexican rice (which I seem to make several times a month, as we often eat enchiladas, tacos or tamales). Alas, the tortillas are store-bought.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Found it!

      By the way, hope you enjoyed those enchiladas. Store bought tortillas are great. i would like to make my own corn tortillas but it looks too difficult :/

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey Jeff! Not sure what happened but I was responding to your message and I hit something and it disappeared. I can’t find it anywhere?

    I try to write this post like a journal, never planned. So most of the time when I sit down to write, I write it like I am talking to a friend. Probably why there are so many typos. I hit post sometimes before I have thoroughly edited because when I do, I end up not hitting post.

    Thank you for the kind words about my paintings! I really do enjoy it. Hope you are doing well and getting ready for the upcoming summer heat.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I swear WordPress sometimes seems possessed! lol. I’m doing alright, but not looking forward to the next 6 months of intense heat, which only seems to worsen every year.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I just tried to edit my response and it disappeared again. I think it is my laptop? May I have your email address, please? My email address is artofthebeat@outlook.com.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. morishige says:

    Hi, M!

    These days I’m keeping myself busy with playing guitars too. I found many interesting guitar lessons on YouTube and learned how to play some songs. Playing guitar feels like a sweet escape from this absurd reality. 😀

    Anyway, the Underworld Bubbling looks really cool!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How cool. If I get good enough, maybe we can Zoom a guitar session together. I am still not good but getting better at getting my fingers to touch the right strings.
      I agree, playing any tpe of instrument is an escape. I have honestly been staying away from my blog because I can’t put the guitar down some days 🙂

      Thank you! I like trying to create depth in my paintings and those bubbles were good practice.

      Like

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