Hell-OHHH! The past few weeks kind of got away from me. Really, there were things that I did not want to document or remember. Today is May 18, 2021 and a Tuesday. I would usually enthusiastically write out and say loudly in my head “Taco Tuesday!” but no, not today. Probably not for a few days or weeks. The Memorial happened and I hear that it was a lovely affair.
Before I go on, how about a little listening music, please press play.
Somehow, somewhere, something knew that I did not want to be there. I had said my goodbyes and had closure with my sister before she died. I knew when I was brushing her hair while she laid in that bed that this would be probably be the last time, ever. Funny thing is, I had remembered brushing her hair when we were little and sometimes grabbing her hair just to touch it it because it was always so shiny, smooth and long. She would often pull mine when she had a little bit of the devil in her. She was blessed with straight black hair and me I had a wild colorful mane that was the opposite of straight. Sorry, got side tracked. So, I know that memorials are for the living, not the dead. It was hard for me as I wished she could have been there. She most definitely would have had something to say about everything, but I am sure she would have loved every moment of it. I wished some one, mainly me, would have done more to help her, while she was alive. I guess the survivors guilt lingers. I think I have more shame than anything. I was not ready to celebrate, not one bit. I did want to be there for my other sisters, but then life happened…It wasn’t because I didn’t want to suck it up (walk it off)and not be at the festivities. You see, Hubby was ill and I wanted to take care of him, and not get anyone else sick. Besides, this was not the way I wanted to mourn. You see the thing is, mourning has no time limit and every one mourns in their own way. Some like to celebrate with others. Some like to meditate alone. Some want to forget about it and act like nothings wrong. These are all okay to do and emotions to feel. There will never be a right or wrong answer and no one should ever be forced to mourn in a way that they are not comfortable doing. Anyhow, it is over. I miss my sister, and am glad to have been able to be in better communication with the other three, although it has been overwhelming. I plan to be a better a sister to the remaining three. By the way, any recommendations for group therapy or anger management in the Coachella Valley?
Last week was the best, really! My daughter and grandchildren came to visit from the East. They ae the most gorgeous, smart, beautiful, talented, cute, cuddly, and not just saying that ’cause they are my grandkids. We got to take them to a few of the local attractions here in the Coachella Valley. Having all five of grandkids in the house at the same time made my heart feel so full.
Our first trip out was to check out the Cabazon Dinosaurs in Cabazon, California.
We wandered over to Mr. Rex’s Dinosaur Adventure. For the price of admission, you get to venture inside Mr. Rex! How cool is that? There are also other exhibits that really are a must see if you are into this sort of thing. There are a few exhibits where you can search for a rock and if you find a rock with a dinosaur name on it, you win a prize! We all won prizes!
Finally, we got to the backside of Mr. Rex. I knew that it was going to be a little bit of a challenge walking up that long ramp as I was already tired and my legs felt like lead. However, all that childish energy, kept me going. I made it, almost, to the top of Mr. Rex.
It was the best watching the kids and Hubby scurry on ahead. I don’t mind. I am lucky to even be inside of Mr. Rex because of the issues I have had following my surgery for CES. You just have to have faith in the process we call life.
After we left there, we drove to see one of the 2021 Desert X exhibitions Indian Land. A creation of artist, Nicolas Galanin.
Anyhow, that was a little photo op on one of the days that my family was here. There is one more photo I can share, maybe two. I love the chance to photograph the kids, especially when they are moving and in water. I had my grandson splash the water and I took a few photos. I switched it to kid mode and snapped shots while he splashed around. I showed him a few and then he said, “Like this!” as he splashed.
I mentioned that we did not make it to the memorial. Luckily, my children represented me. Seems there is a stomach virus going around and masks do not protect you from it. Hand washing is key and most importantly, keep your hands away from your face. I am feeling so much better, although it was scary for Hubby and he did have to go to the ER. Anyhow, it was a rough four hours and I almost begged Hubby to stay an extra night as I did not want to move. My brain felt like it had shrunk three sizes that day. I sucked it up, and made it out of the room at check out and into the car. I put the seat down and had a few mishaps but then passed out. Thank goodness for Hubby feeling better and getting me home safely. Glad the worst is over and I did lose 8 lbs over this weekend, so that is a plus. Gotta take a win anywhere I can get it, right? Anyhow, hope not too many others come down with this illness.
Thank you dear reader for the visit. May you have a peaceful day. Hugs to you and you and especially YOU!